The Nanny State educates her children.

From Taranto's Best of the Web
No Egg Sit "The BBC has defended a decision to change the ending of nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty," reports London's Daily Express:
A version used on the CBeebies channel was altered so rather than "couldn't put Humpty together again" all the King's horses "made Humpty happy again".
The broadcaster said the change was made purely for creative reasons rather than trying to give a soft version of the rhyme for children.
A spokeswoman said: "We play nursery rhymes with their original lyrics all the time and the small change to Humpty Dumpty was done for no other reason than being creative and entertaining."
But "Citygent," a commenter on the Express Web site, says he was traumatized by the original: I for one can date the exact moment when my childhood was ripped from me, and that was when I first heard that Humpty Dumpty's injuries were terminal. The callousness of how I was given the news after becoming so attached to him during the first line of the rhyme. I still haven't found closure.
On a different note, I can't look at a cow without assuming it will attempt a lunar orbit at any moment. It amazes me how they get milk out of them. As for Hickory Dickory Dock--I'm forced to relive the way the clock murdered one of the mice, constantly replaying it in my head over and over.... Stupid nursery rhymes ruined my life! Save our children from this horror!!
To our mind, the only problem with the BBC's revision is that it doesn't go far enough in removing the rhyme's invidious elements. Sitting on a wall is dangerous, not only because it increases the risk of a great fall, but also because such a sedentary lifestyle contributes to the obesity epidemic. And seriously, "all the king's horses and all the king's men"? This is elitist, sexist and offensive to equine-Americans! How about this:
Humpty Dumpty worked out on a beam
Humpty Dumpty had great self-esteem
All Gaia's creatures and humanity
Made Humpty feel proud to be GLB
Now if we can just get Child Protective Services to open an investigation into that elderly woman who lives in a shoe.